MyMommyVents is kicking off the month of October by celebrating “PhenomeMoms.” Each week, we’ll profile a phenomenal mom who has faced tough challenges and managed to come out stronger. Every day, we see celebrity moms featured on magazine covers and websites for their fashion, weight loss, or personal struggles–but we’d like to celebrate the every day moms who are truly making a difference. We’re recognizing the phenomenal moms who sacrifice to give their children what they need, the moms who go above and beyond to do the best for their kids. This month, we’re honoring YOU.
Today’s PhenomeMom is Fiona Slade, a North Carolina wife and mom of seriously adorable twin girls Madison (Maddy) and Laila. After struggling with endometriosis, Fiona discovered she was pregnant with twins–but her pregnancy and the months after the girls’ birth wouldn’t be easy. Read on for this phenomenal mom’s story.
How did you feel when you first learned you were pregnant? Do twins run in either of your families?
We were elated! After trying for so long it seemed so unreal that we were finally going to be parents! In 2012 I was diagnosed with endometriosis and after testing and ultrasounds discovered I had blockage on my left and right fallopian tubes. I had surgery in June of 2012 to remedy that. In November of 2013, (almost after a month of being late) I went in for a routine doctor’s appointment and that’s when we found out the great news! There are one set of twins on my side which are very distant cousins and one set on my husband Patrick’s side so we were quite shocked on Christmas Eve when we went in for my first OB appointment to find out that there were two heartbeats and 2 sacks.
But soon after the joyful news, trouble would hit. At just five and a half months into her pregnancy, Fiona’s doctors put her on bed rest for her health and the health of her children.
How did you entertain yourself while on bed rest (because I was bored out of my mind!)?
Oh no the “B” word ha! Bed rest, hmm. I felt so incapable. I watched TV, read magazines, finished about 20 levels of Candy Crush, online shopping etc. There was only so much I could do because I was hospitalized. My husband was there with me the whole time until the girls were born. He would leave to go to work in the evening and a couple of times per week go to our house to check the mail, do our laundry and make sure everything was okay.
Fiona’s doctors were concerned about the girls’ development, and she had ultrasounds daily to check their progress. Approximately three weeks into her stay at the hospital, a routine ultrasound showed that one of the babies was in distress, and Fiona would have to deliver them by an emergency c-section.
When you learned that the girls would have to be delivered by c-section, were you scared? Nervous? How did your husband react?
We were not expecting that news because even though I had been having complications, everything seemed to have been going okay. After the ultrasound technician completed the ultrasound, the Maternal Fetal Care doctor came in shortly after and dropped the biggest bomb on us. My baby B (Laila) was in distress. She was almost a pound smaller than baby A (Maddy), because of the blood flow from her heart to the umbilical cord. This is known as intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR). If they didn’t deliver both girls that day, Laila would not make it. We completely lost it after hearing this news. We cried, we prayed, and cried some more. My hospital room quickly filled up with nurses prepping me for my c section, which would take place 4 hours later.
Once Maddy and Laila were delivered, they were rushed to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), where they would remain for until they were well enough to go home. Maddy stayed in the NICU for three months, and Laila stayed for four, transferring to another hospital for surgery and another month of recovery.
When Maddy and Laila were in the NICU, how did you cope? What was your schedule like during that time?
While the girls were in the NICU, it was quite an emotional time for me, especially for the first month or two. I was on maternity leave during the first 3 months of their NICU stay and spent at least half my day at the hospital. I became a familiar face among the staff. I wouldn’t miss a day away from them, even though for a while I was unable to even hold them. I would also spend time every 3 hours to pumping. It was always my plan to breast feed once they were born so this was something I knew I needed to dedicate myself to.
Did you blame yourself at any point? (With my first son, I thought it was something I did, or that it was because of my gestational diabetes)
There were many days when I would beat myself up for what happened but then I came to a realization that everything that happened, happened for a reason. I was definitely somber for a while after the girls were born and was even diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. There were days when I just wanted to be by myself. The doctors would often assure that there was nothing I could have done to prevent my pre-term labor and that the sequence of events that took place with my pregnancy was often common with other moms pregnant with multiples.
Did you form relationships with other parents whose children were in the NICU? Do you still keep in contact with them?
All of the parents I met that that had babies in the same unit that the girls were in were great. All were very friendly and supportive to one another even though we were all there for the same reason. There was however, one mom that I clicked with instantly. Her daughter and ours were born only 3 days apart. There were many days while our girls were in the hospital that she and I would pray together, celebrate milestones that our girls were achieving, and support each other on days when things weren’t going as well. One year later, and we still keep in contact and will be getting together to celebrated our little miracles’ birthdays together!
What’s your wish for Maddy and Laila? What do you hope to see them do?
Coming into this world as early as they did, I’ve watched both Madison and Laila battle their way through so many obstacles and surpass a lot of the expectations that were set for them. My only wish for them, as cliché as it sounds, is for them to dream BIG. They are here with such a great purpose! I know that as they grow up and become women, wives & mothers that they will be strong and be able to take on any challenges that this world has to offer and do it with a smile.
What’s a normal day like with your family? Do you have a schedule?
I’ve been at home full time with the girls since January of this year. Our normal day consists of about 16 diaper changes (for both babies) 8 feedings, playtime, nap time (which is now seldom that they are growing up) bath time, physical therapy once a week to work out any possible developmental delays, cooking cleaning, laundry and frequent visits from both grandmas. Lots of fun stuff 🙂 Patrick works second shift and is very helpful with the girls so I’m not totally as overwhelmed as I should be.
After a surgery to correct her heart, Laila is in good health. Now fifteen months old, both girls are doing well and continue to thrive.
What’s the one thing you want people to learn from your story?
There is so much I learned throughout this experience. One of the most important things is to enjoy your pregnancy. Cherish every single day of it and if things don’t go according to “plan” not to beat yourself up about it. Of course easier said than done but I’ve been there.
You may have noticed something a little different about Fiona–she’s shed her baby weight! Here are some of her phenomenal tips:
My motivation for my weight was definitely the girls and of course, my overall health. After my pregnancy, I struggled to get my blood pressure under control. I was tired and lacked energy. I decided that if I wanted to maintain a healthy lifestyle and set an example for my children, I needed to get active and change my eating habits. For a busy mom such as my self it was quite difficult. I started out just eliminating fast foods, sweets and sodas from my daily routine. I increased my consumption of fruits, vegetables and lean protein. I started going back to the gym and would go about 3-4 times a week. This may not work for everyone. The key to it is finding an activity you like whether it be dancing, biking, etc. And being consistent with it. Consistency is definitely everything.
We thank Fiona and her family for letting us share their story. Let her know how much you appreciate her by leaving a comment! Next week, we’ll feature another phenomenal mom. Share your story by emailing info@mymommyvents.com.
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I love this series, Fiona is definitely a phenomenal mother. Strong and beautiful! Those baby girls are beautiful. May God continue to bless this beautiful family. Thanks for linking up