![\"phenomenal-mothers\"](\"http:\/\/mymommyvents.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/PHENOMEMOMS-e1414552308637.png\")
<\/a> October\u2019s PhenomeMOMs have been such an inspiration!\u00a0 From triumphs<\/a> over the NICU, to dealing<\/a> with loss, turning pain<\/a> into purpose, and finding the humor<\/a> in it all, these extraordinary moms have shown us all what it means to be phenomenal in motherhood. I was motivated by the PhenomeMOMs\u00a0 and convinced by last week\u2019s PhenomeMOM Valerie to share my own story. I\u2019m thankful to everyone who has encouraged me to continue sharing my story. If you missed it, you can read Part 1<\/a> and Part 2<\/a>\u00a0here.<\/p>\n[line]\nI remember being carried into my parents bedroom. I remember calling out to people and thanking them for being so annoying when I was pregnant because it helped me to focus during labor. I remember thanking people for praying for me. I remember repeating \u201cI get it,\u201d over and over. I remember telling the EMT\u2019s to check my blood sugar, and I remember it all going black again.<\/p>\n
I woke up in the back of an ambulance, my mother weeping as they rushed me to the hospital. I couldn\u2019t understand how I had gotten there. I thought I was dreaming.<\/p>\n
The hospital checked my vital signs, but couldn\u2019t find anything wrong with me. I assured them that I was fine. Although I knew who I was, and where I was, I couldn\u2019t figure out why I was there. As the doctor questioned me, I started to untwist my shoulder length dreadlocks. By the end of the day, they would be gone.<\/p>\n
The hospital agreed to release me, as I seemed perfectly fine. When my husband arrived at home, he found me laughing on Facebook. Things were off, but no one knew how to approach the topic. We dealt with it through laughter.The next few days would be rough, but things slowly began to return\u00a0to normal. I began seeing a therapist my friend recommended to explore the reason behind my breakdown.<\/p>\n
The therapist\u00a0explained that my body was in shock, my mind was tired, and my system crumbled under all of the stress. I had suffered an episode of postpartum psychosis<\/a>,which occurs in approximately 1 to 2 out of every 1,000 deliveries. Symptoms of postpartum psychosis include:<\/span><\/p>\n I felt crazy. If anyone found out, they\u2019d think I was crazy, too. People would whisper and gossip. They\u2019d think that I wanted to hurt my baby. They\u2019d say I was weak and couldn\u2019t handle motherhood, or worse, they\u2019d take my son away from me. I was so afraid.<\/p>\n Over sessions, we discussed my fears. At the root of it all, I was angry and depressed. I\u2019d been suppressing my feelings, wearing a mask of happiness and perfection while the truth simmered just below the surface\u2013but now, I was fighting back.<\/p>\n I stayed home with my baby and continued therapy for the rest of the year. I tried to go to new mom groups, but depression and fear of being judged by\u00a0other moms\u00a0held me back from social settings. As the year went on, I began to open up. I started addressing problems head on instead of squelching my anger. I began to rely \u00a0more fully on my faith, and I began to live\u00a0again.<\/p>\n Soon after The DJ\u2019s first birthday, I found out I was pregnant again. I worried about another episode. This time, I spoke up. I told my husband that I would need him now more than ever. I asked him to help me. Unashamed,\u00a0 I told him how scared I was. He calmed my fears and assured me that this time, we\u2019d make it through together.<\/p>\n After a month of bed rest because of early contractions, The Emcee made his debut a day and a half after I returned to work. I actually felt the contractions this time. Thankfully, everything went well. There were no NICU visits, no complications, and no postpartum depression and no postpartum psychosis.\u00a0I felt like I had finally gotten a handle on life.<\/p>\n I decided to start Mymommyvents in 2014, because I didn\u2019t want another mother to have to feel the pain I felt. According to medscape.com<\/a>, 85% of women experience some type of mood disturbance postpartum. If the events that I host or the posts on this website help just one<\/em> mother, then my episode wasn\u2019t in vain.<\/p>\n For more information on postpartum depression and psychosis, please visit the following websites:<\/p>\n\n