If we believe everything we see on social media, some moms have it all together. They manage to wrangle their families into matching outfits, smiles beaming for the camera. They take selfies at Target, chai lattes in hand. They show up early for every game, unloading healthy snacks from the backs of their gleaming SUVs.
They look like the perfect moms–but I don’t want to be one of them.
Even though their hair is never out of place, and their gluten free brownies are absolutely delicious, trying to be perfect could be bad for their health. Researchers have discovered that individuals who have incredibly high standards or call themselves perfectionists are more likely to suffer from serious consequences in both their physical and mental health.
Perfect moms are never done
One of the biggest downsides to being a perfectionist is that you’re almost never done. The perfect mom might have a long, detailed checklist in her planner, ticking things off as they get done. But when roadblocks pop up–like forgetting crazy sock day at school–so does the desire to fix them, adding more and more things to her never ending list.
Perfect moms might also obsesses over how perfect things need to be–delaying getting them done altogether.
Perfect moms are at risk for burnout
In their attempts to be impeccable, perfect moms are probably doing way more than they need to. 3 dozen cupcakes for the bake sale tomorrow? Instead of grabbing goodies from Walmart, a perfect mom has to bake them from scratch, opening the door for mental and physical fatigue to overwhelm her.
Frustrated and worn out, the perfect mom finds herself more stressed in general. According to a 2018 study, perfectionism can be linked to higher rates of clinical depression and eating disorders. Perfectionism can even result in increased risk for high blood pressure and cardiovascular disease.
Perfect moms can’t rest
Most perfectionists have this belief that they’ll rest after they’ve gotten everything done–but between the laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping and after school activities, when does that ever happen?
Most of the time, perfect moms are rushing around meeting deadlines and getting stuff done, hardly giving themselves enough time to rest and relax.
Perfect moms don’t delegate
Perfectionists can have a hard time delegating tasks. They seem to want to do everything- even the little things that they can easily hand over, like making lunch or washing the dishes. They have a hard time trusting in other’s ability to do their tasks as perfectly as they can, and often often end up piled high with work, chores and other duties on a tight schedule.
So if you’re still struggling to balance work, school drop off, ballet, soccer practice and parent teacher’s conferences–give yourself a break.
You don’t have to be a perfect mom–just the best mom you can be.
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